Words heard for the first time...

Cousin Maggie's baptism in 2008

This Sunday at church we had a baptism. The welcoming of a wee baby girl into God's family forever. It was powerful, it was amazing, it was a baptism.

Now, I've been to a number of baptisms... many for little babies, some for adults and my own in grade three. And yet yesterday I heard words in the baptism service that I've never heard before. These words were spoken in the prayer after this little baby was baptized and signed with the cross. These words were: "Give her an inquiring and discerning heart" and the prayer continued with: "the courage to will and to persevere, a spirit to know and to love you, and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works. Amen."


It always amazes me how I can hear words over and over and over again and then one day really hear them. Almost like I have never encountered the words before. Like my ears, my brain and my heart heard them for the first time.


Give her an inquiring and discerning heart


These are the words that will stay with me, these are the words that I heard yesterday, these are the words that have so much power, hope and emotion.

Maybe I heard them yesterday because I find myself inquiring and discerning so much right now (not that I haven't before!). It's become part of my week, day, hour, minute. Discerning God's call and what my heart is yearning for... both these things together. Listening for the wisdom within myself and from others around me. Changing my mind over and over again. Questioning everything and then having moments where I can see my passions and my call come to life.

And maybe it's also that fact that I realized during the service as those words were spoken and the tears begin to fill my eyelids that someone once prayed those exact words over me... for me... Maybe it's the realization that these words have been part of my life for more years then I've realized. That this has been part of me and who I am and what I'm doing. That years ago it was prayed for me the great hope that I may have an inquiring and discerning heart.

The words prayed over this infant child are the same words that were once prayed over me.
Words that have been spoken for years and yet only just heard.

Holy One, we thank you that by this water and the Holy Spirit you 
have bestowed upon this your servant the forgiveness of sin, and 
have raised her to the new life of grace. Sustain her O Lord, in 
your Holy Spirit. Give her an inquiring and discerning heart, the 
courage to will and to persevere, a spirit to know and to love you, 
and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works. Amen.



Prayer from The Book of Alternative Services of The Anglican Church of Canada page 160.

Jack Frost comes again!

I was stunned by the beauty of the frost covered campus when I went to school yesterday morning and was saddened that I didn't have my camera to capture the delegate frost covering. But this morning Jack Frost and come again and left his gentle marks all over the earth... or at least all over campus! Absolutely beautiful.

The desert place... the place of solitude

In Jan L. Richardson's book: IN THE SANCTUARY OF WOMEN (a book I commend to you all for reading) she writes:

DRY

     And the well runs dry. It's one of the most common experiences in the spiritual life. A practice that we have cherished, a habit that has deepened us and drawn us closer to God, a discipline that we perhaps have engaged in for years no longer seems to work. Gradually over time or overnight with no warning, its familiar contours turn foreign, dull, perhaps even painful. 

     These times call us to some of our deepest discernment. They dare us to ask, Am I being called to go deeper in the practice, to persist, to keep digging toward the wellspring that surely must be here somewhere? Am I being invited to wait and listen? Or is God leading me toward a different practice than the one I have known?

     This kind of discernment, of course, is its own practice. Pondering the questions that lie at the bottom of a dry well offers a journey of its own. What I know is this: to find the answers, we have to pay attention to the dryness. This is a desert place. As uncomfortable as it may be, there is no substitute for these desert places in the spiritual life. They offer a wisdom that we cannot get any other way. 

I was reminded this week in Bible Study and this morning at church during the sermon how important spending time in the desert place, in the place of solitude and of prayer is. It's a reminder I often need to hear, one I strive to never forget but one that often gets forgotten. It's the permission to stop and feed my spiritual desires when the rest of the world has expanded my to do list or the demands of academic life have me struggling for breath underneath piles of paper. It's the message telling me that taking the time to go off by myself and pray will not only serve me but in return will serve the work, ministry and relationships I am engaged in. It's the quiet place, the pause place, the place of solitude and the place of direction. 

Jesus reminds us to enter into that place. Jesus models for us the importance in taking time in that place where we connect with God. In Mark 1:35-38 after a full day of teaching in the Synagogue and healing everyone who came to him we read: 

"While it was still night, way before dawn, he got up and went out to a secluded spot and prayed. Simon and those with him went looking for him. They found him and said, "Everybody's looking for you." Jesus said, "Let's go to the rest of the villages so I can preach there also. This is why I've come."

After hours and hours of healing Jesus was re-grounded in the direction of why he is here, what he has been called to do. 

This week, don't forget to enter into the desert place. The place of solitude and of prayer. And maybe there, in that place of "pause" you will be re-energized with the knowing of what it is you've been called here to do. 

Youth Group Sleepover (sleep optional!)

It's time for me to go to bed. So, why am I still up then? Well, I'm determined to get into a level of a schedule that resembles a routine of "normalcy" (whatever that might look like). And going to bed at 7:30pm will not help with the process. So I shall find ways for a few more hours to pass.

We had our first youth group sleepover last night. Fourteen youth from Kamloops and Savona and a nice mixture of Anglican and Lutherans. It was so calm and relaxed compared to the many other sleepovers I've done over the years. We ate lots of food, played countless games (Highly recommend Apples to Apples!), spent some time in quiet/personal reflection as we explored some Spiritual Practices, watched a movie as folks drifted off to sleep, slept (or as in my case... didn't sleep!), woke up in time to clean-up, enjoy breakfast and attend the worship service. 

I for some reason let the group stay up later then I ever have before... I think it was because they were so calm. Everyone just went with the flow of things and were all very engaged in the different activities that were happening. 

We were community. We are community. There was laughter, there was fellowship, there was joy. God was and is with us. 

And I'm now fully convinced that two-year-olds love me. Or at least they trust me. And it's not just the two-year-olds that I've know for years And of course, I'm not complaining!! 

And now I sit here trying to stay awake, watching a movie, enjoying the quiet, preparing myself for the start of classes tomorrow. January is good. I am ever grateful that January has arrived and productivity and routine are coming back into my life. Here we go again, another semester!

Final lighting of the Advent Candles

Advent Candles - Christmas Morning

Christmas has come and the celebrations are over. I share with you two pictures. The first is the final lighting of the Advent Candles - all five are now lit, the Christ Child has arrived. Worship this Christmas Eve was wonderful and powerful. Our 4pm family service at the Cathedral was filled with so many children and a wonder sharing of the Christmas story. And for the first time in my life I got to be a sheep - so much fun! (Getting to be a sheep with my two year old friend from church just made the evening that much more magical!) The 11pm candlelight service was also wonderful, different feeling then the 4pm with a powerful message. I like both the services and very much like being within the Cathedral community on this special night of celebration.

Christmas Morning picture

I spent time with the family between services and then after the 11pm service. And of course I got the late night shift with Taylor and Rhys who decided that not sleeping was a very good idea. I think we finally fell asleep around 3:30am. And then at 6:30am all the alarm clocks went off... thank you Taylor! We spent the morning together with mom and then went home to spend the rest of the day with dad. It was a good day with good company and good food.

We missed Deana this year. This was our first Christmas where one of us kids was not present. Deana was in Edmonton with her boyfriend and his family. We look forward to seeing her in the spring. So, this second picture is of us kids together on Christmas morning... yes, we had another brown Christmas.

Christmas Day Thankfulness

The long awaited for Christmas Day is coming to an end. My eyes are asking, "when is bed time?". My mind is asking, "how much longer can the kids who stayed up until 3:45am and woke up at 6:30am stay awake? When will the adrenaline from the excitement die down?" It's the beauty of having brothers and sisters who are still 8, 10 and 12 years old. The excitement is so present. 

As they sit playing a game and try to figure out new pieces of technology and I've opened every near impossible plastic case and read every set of instructions they still sit engaged and excited. And I sit here enjoying a pause in the evening and enjoy a cup of tea. Dad and Wesley are sleeping (I took my nap this afternoon!), Sara has gone to spend time with her boyfriend in Kamloops, Stewart is working and Deana wasn't home this year but is with her boyfriend and his family in Edmonton. 

We've enjoyed a Christmas feast and I even managed to shepherded the kids into helping clean up dinner and Christmas Day craziness. I've still got the talent!

After a very long December I've been thinking of what I am thankful for. Here is a start:

- My loving family. We're spread out and things are a bit different these days but they are all still beyond amazing! 

- Christmas Eve worship. The celebration of Jesus' birth with good friends and amazing worship leadership. It's an extension of my family, it's the community where I feel safe. 

- My role as a sheep in the Cathedral Nativity Play, my two year old "buddy"who gets so excited when she sees me... it makes my day every time I see her! We were sheep together!

- Aaron narrating for me the game he is playing on his DS

- Taylor and Rhys sitting on the couch together, helping one another figure out the unknowns of an itouch

- Sara's willingness to stay around and help with the clean-up before taking off

- The many phone conversations with Deana, distance may separate us but we talk oh-so-much!

- The love Stewart has for his brothers and sisters... he can't hide it!

- Wesley's humor, hardworking and caring self. 

Obviously there is lots more that I am thankful for on this Christmas Day. Maybe it is a good idea for us all to take some time to remember all the things we are blessed with. 

Merry Christmas my friends. May God bless you this day and all the days to come.

Advent Week 4

Advent Candles Week 4

Today all I share with you is this truly amazing and powerful poem. This is one of my favorite Sunday's of the year - I love Mary! What an amazing decision Mary made to say "yes" to God. Dean Louise preached at church this morning reminding us: If we dismiss the story of the Annunciation (Luke 1:26) as inconceivable, it will be: and then we risk the loss of God being conceived in us. Powerful words. It's been a day of powerful words.

Before Jesus 

was his mother. 

Before supper

in the upper room,

breakfast in the barn. 

Before the Passover Feast,

a feeding trough.

And here, the altar

of Earth, fair linens

of hay and seed. 

Before his cry,

her cry. 

Before his sweat 

of blood,

her bleeding 

and tears.

Before his offering,

hers.

Before the breaking

of bread and death, 

the breaking of her

body in birth. 

Before the offering

of the cup, 

the offering of her 

breast.

Before his blood,

her blood.

And by her body and blood

alone, his body and blood

and whole human being. 

The wise ones knelt

to hear the woman's word

in wonder. 

Holding up her sacred child,

her God in the form of a babe,

she said: "receive and let

your hearts be healed

and your lives be filled

with love, for

This is my body, 

This is my blood."

- Alla Renee Bozarth

from: Life Prayers from Around the World