Ten on Tuesday: Changes

Nothing like almost four months down the road to pick up where I left off... only now summer has past,  new adventures have started, a new routine is trying to be discovered, fall has settled in and winter is around the corner. Where oh where do I start off? How about in the past week?!

Ten on Tuesday

Fall at Sorrento Centre

1) I've been settling into not only the job as Program Director at Sorrento Centre over the past month but have also been settling into my apartment over the past few weeks. It's coming together but will not happen overnight. A few items still need to come in from Savona... nevertheless it is so nice to have my own space to call home. My own space to make mine. My own space to be who I need to be outside of the rest of my life. Rest, Renewal, Sleep, Peace, Prayer.

2) Cooking... oh how I truly have missed cooking. This week I made some delicious beef patties with mushroom and feta in them. Enjoyed on top of a bed of green spinach and I was set! Tonight "Spinach Tomato Orzo Soup" is in my crock pot... so looking forward to enjoying that tonight!

3) Speaking of all things cooking... it's vital to get some stuff into the freezer so I can pull it out and take it with me for lunch and/or dinner during the many trips to Kamloops I'm making.

4) Last week I spent five days in the Calgary area gathering with representatives from each diocese of people who have a passion for working with youth. It was wonderful to gather with friends and colleagues. It was much needed time of sharing, conversation, worship, laughter and rest.

Play time with Theo!!

5) I'm not going to lie... one of the best parts of my resent time in Calgary was spending time with my friend Su from the Island and her 10 month old baby, Theo. I'll be bold enough to say that Theo and I became pretty good friends and had way too much fun playing with toys, crawling on the ground, and laughing. There is something about spending time with infants that reminds me of what is really important in life and how some things are really just not worth our time.

6) Youth Group - it's all happening again!! Some new ideas, some new adventures, some new faces and a whole lot of similar fun!!

7) A new church experience. I've been helping out with Sunday School here and there at the Cathedral during the 10am service. Sunday School is where I started out many years ago in the small town of Savona. It's where I learned about God, it's where I discovered my passion, it's where a group of adults believed in me, mentored me, and encouraged me - even though I didn't know I needed it. 8 years of Sunday School ministry and I'm once again dipping my toes into it and loving it. Right, back to the point. Because of this it means that I miss the scripture reading and reflection at the 10am service... so I've started to attend the 8am service (when I'm organized enough). This service is Book of Common Prayer, an unfamiliar book with unfamiliar and sometimes uncomfortable language.

8) I think I'm enjoying this 8am service thing. Yes, that is what I just wrote. There is something nice about the simplicity of it (no music, no interaction with neighbor, etc...), the unfamiliarity and the fact that I have no responsibilities and no one has any expectations for me (well, except maybe God). I sit in that small chapel with the small gathered group and I stop. I pause. I breathe. And sometimes, I just want to cry. It's the break I obviously need right now.

9) I have some pretty remarkable, caring and influential friends out there... just saying!

10) I slowly but surly beginning to feel settled for which I am very grateful.

Post Easter Reflections

I think my tiredness is setting in. I was unable to tell just a short bit ago but now I’m feeling tired and still sitting in the Vancouver airport awaiting my soon to depart flight. I feel better though seeing at least four small children around me also waiting for flights all of who are obviously exhausted. Last complaint then I’ll move onto more exciting things: I’ve been sitting way too much since Tuesday at 6am. And my beloved shoulder bags, well they will have limited airport travel time with me now… backpack all the way. I must be starting to get old or at least my bones have prematurely aged on me. And in an attempt to not spread out on the floor I have managed to sit “criss cross apple sauce“ on this chair that has become my temporary home!

Maundy Thursday @ Cathedral

Easter. Yay – Easter has come!!! Yahoo, the Lord is Risen!! Holy Week was amazing and very full as it can only be. And I made it to my first ever Maundy Thursday service, loved it of course! Now I have too many ideas for future Holy Weeks/services going through my mind (not uncommon at all!). We had a course over Monday – Wednesday of the week “The 3 Mary’s”, I enjoyed each session and learned lots. Things went well and somehow I managed to make it though alongside school and many other preparations.

Fifteen young people gathered together on Saturday night to attend the 9pm Easter Vigil service and then spent the night at the Cathedral. It was a night with no sleep, I didn’t even get my pillow out of the office! We had a massive Easter egg hunt around 1am with glow-in-the-dark eggs alongside all things chocolate themed. Folks played games and watched a movie. Around 3am I gave up on the topic of sleep, made tea and sat in the chapel for a bit. We left the Cathedral around 4:30am to attend the Sunrise service on the beach. It was freezing out but the moon was beautiful and full and the service lovely. It is quickly becoming one of my favorite services.

Glow-in-the-dark Easter Eggs!

By the time we got to Denny’s for breakfast the youth were close to collapsing into sleep in their breakfast! I attended the 10am Easter service at the Cathedral and then headed out to Savona. Joined the community there fore their 4pm service and then spent the evening with the family – it was so wonderful to be together.

All in all everything went well and we all eventually got home and to sleep. I heard the Easter Resurrection story four times in twelve hours and heard something different/new each time. One can’t get tired of the Resurrection story! Joy, joy, joy, joy!! And much, much celebration! I love Easter.

New Life

Signs and smells of New Life and the Resurrection are being experienced and beginning to surround us all.

Happy Easter!

Words heard for the first time...

Cousin Maggie's baptism in 2008

This Sunday at church we had a baptism. The welcoming of a wee baby girl into God's family forever. It was powerful, it was amazing, it was a baptism.

Now, I've been to a number of baptisms... many for little babies, some for adults and my own in grade three. And yet yesterday I heard words in the baptism service that I've never heard before. These words were spoken in the prayer after this little baby was baptized and signed with the cross. These words were: "Give her an inquiring and discerning heart" and the prayer continued with: "the courage to will and to persevere, a spirit to know and to love you, and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works. Amen."


It always amazes me how I can hear words over and over and over again and then one day really hear them. Almost like I have never encountered the words before. Like my ears, my brain and my heart heard them for the first time.


Give her an inquiring and discerning heart


These are the words that will stay with me, these are the words that I heard yesterday, these are the words that have so much power, hope and emotion.

Maybe I heard them yesterday because I find myself inquiring and discerning so much right now (not that I haven't before!). It's become part of my week, day, hour, minute. Discerning God's call and what my heart is yearning for... both these things together. Listening for the wisdom within myself and from others around me. Changing my mind over and over again. Questioning everything and then having moments where I can see my passions and my call come to life.

And maybe it's also that fact that I realized during the service as those words were spoken and the tears begin to fill my eyelids that someone once prayed those exact words over me... for me... Maybe it's the realization that these words have been part of my life for more years then I've realized. That this has been part of me and who I am and what I'm doing. That years ago it was prayed for me the great hope that I may have an inquiring and discerning heart.

The words prayed over this infant child are the same words that were once prayed over me.
Words that have been spoken for years and yet only just heard.

Holy One, we thank you that by this water and the Holy Spirit you 
have bestowed upon this your servant the forgiveness of sin, and 
have raised her to the new life of grace. Sustain her O Lord, in 
your Holy Spirit. Give her an inquiring and discerning heart, the 
courage to will and to persevere, a spirit to know and to love you, 
and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works. Amen.



Prayer from The Book of Alternative Services of The Anglican Church of Canada page 160.

The desert place... the place of solitude

In Jan L. Richardson's book: IN THE SANCTUARY OF WOMEN (a book I commend to you all for reading) she writes:

DRY

     And the well runs dry. It's one of the most common experiences in the spiritual life. A practice that we have cherished, a habit that has deepened us and drawn us closer to God, a discipline that we perhaps have engaged in for years no longer seems to work. Gradually over time or overnight with no warning, its familiar contours turn foreign, dull, perhaps even painful. 

     These times call us to some of our deepest discernment. They dare us to ask, Am I being called to go deeper in the practice, to persist, to keep digging toward the wellspring that surely must be here somewhere? Am I being invited to wait and listen? Or is God leading me toward a different practice than the one I have known?

     This kind of discernment, of course, is its own practice. Pondering the questions that lie at the bottom of a dry well offers a journey of its own. What I know is this: to find the answers, we have to pay attention to the dryness. This is a desert place. As uncomfortable as it may be, there is no substitute for these desert places in the spiritual life. They offer a wisdom that we cannot get any other way. 

I was reminded this week in Bible Study and this morning at church during the sermon how important spending time in the desert place, in the place of solitude and of prayer is. It's a reminder I often need to hear, one I strive to never forget but one that often gets forgotten. It's the permission to stop and feed my spiritual desires when the rest of the world has expanded my to do list or the demands of academic life have me struggling for breath underneath piles of paper. It's the message telling me that taking the time to go off by myself and pray will not only serve me but in return will serve the work, ministry and relationships I am engaged in. It's the quiet place, the pause place, the place of solitude and the place of direction. 

Jesus reminds us to enter into that place. Jesus models for us the importance in taking time in that place where we connect with God. In Mark 1:35-38 after a full day of teaching in the Synagogue and healing everyone who came to him we read: 

"While it was still night, way before dawn, he got up and went out to a secluded spot and prayed. Simon and those with him went looking for him. They found him and said, "Everybody's looking for you." Jesus said, "Let's go to the rest of the villages so I can preach there also. This is why I've come."

After hours and hours of healing Jesus was re-grounded in the direction of why he is here, what he has been called to do. 

This week, don't forget to enter into the desert place. The place of solitude and of prayer. And maybe there, in that place of "pause" you will be re-energized with the knowing of what it is you've been called here to do. 

Advent Week Two: Peace

Advent Wreath Week Two

"The God of peace grant us a quiet night and a perfect end. Amen."


I sat here in my living room Sunday night late into the evening on a lovely eve of Advent Week two. I was filled with peace and a sense of calmness. I wrote in my journal and I just sat in the glow of the many lit candles and the decorated tree. I stared into the dark and into the light, back and forth, back and forth. 


I love the night. I love the solitude and the silence. I love that time seems to slow down and I feel like I have time to breath and am at peace at the very last. The night is my down time, it is the time when I reflect on the day and all that I have learned and been part of. 


Tonight I sit here thinking how amazing it is that a group of young people this (Monday) evening at Youth Group made 56 handmade Christmas Cards for our friends at the Kamloops Seniors Village. How amazing is that? For two hours we worked on this project and there was a deep calmness within the group and within the space. God was there with us.


I am waiting, not so patiently, to light all the candles in the Advent Wreath. Advent is about expectant waiting and yet I so much want to be able to light all five candles. As I wait this Advent season I will be practicing patience - all good things will come and the celebration will be beautiful!


As I prepare for bed I remember a line from our Evening Prayer Service: 

"Preserve us, O God, waking, 

and guard us sleeping; 

that awake we may watch with Christ, 

and asleep we may rest in peace." 

*Quotes from Eucharistic Prayers, Services of the Word and Night Prayers: Supplementary to the Book of Alternative Services. ABC Publishing. Online here page 46.

A Full Soul

The best feeling ever is having a full soul. I can't even describe the feeling in detail. I don't know if anyone can. How do you describe having a full soul? It's a good feeling. It's a full feeling. More peaceful. More calm. More focused. Happier. Ready for what's to come next. 

My soul is full. My soul is full because of community, worship, silence, friendship, laughter, scripture, song, and being fed with Holy food. I spent today with members of the Cathedral community for our Discernment Day. It was a good day, it was a full day, it was a fun day. Tonight I went to the Cathedral's "Holy Table, Holy Word" service. A service of meditation, chant, prayer, holy words and silence. As part of the service we had twenty solid minutes of blissful silence. It's been months since I've been fed in this way. It's been months since I've sat in silence. And hearing some of the words I share so often with the young people I work with (breath in love, breath out fear) was exactly what I needed. There's something different about hearing the words, about receiving them. Giving them to and sharing them with others is great and an honor but I was reminded tonight that I also need to receive them. 

And so this week I will breath in the love of God and breath out fear. I will breath in the love of God and breath out anxiety. I will breath in the love of God and breath out stress. I will breath in the love of God and breath out fear. This week I will strive to be present with God.

A full soul, it's a good thing. It will keep me going through the next week of classes. It will keep me nourished through my moments doubt, frustration, stress, exhaustion and panic. My soul is very full and it feels good. 

General Synod begins!

Well... this is going to be rather brief as I am exhausted! It is a good exhaustion though... today was our first full day of General Synod and what fun it is!

Last night we had our Opening Service at the Cathedral which was just amazing, I love beginning things with worship. It's grounding, it reminds us of who we are and what we are doing and why we are doing it! Worship brings us together as the community gathered and pray, sing, hear scripture, and are fed. And they had these really awesome and amazing sails that each Ecclesiastical Province processed in after... they were lovely (pictures below!) The whole thing was just wonderful.

Today we jumped right in to resolutions and eventually made it to the resolutions from the Governance Working Group - this gave me my first experience of really having no idea how to vote, and observing much debate and conversation taking place. It was interesting and will continue to be.

Oh, wait! We got to do some awesome and amazing icebreakers and get to know you activities... It was great, but of course I think that... I do these things all time time! Handshakes, routines, switching name tags, don't stop talking... and on it went! So much fun...

We also heard the first presentation from the Vision 2019 group... this is the first part of their report. (It's a great report and you can find it at anglican.ca... but it is long!) The group began with an amazing video which you can watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JacrWZxAhgE&feature=player_embedded The video introduces the 5 Marks of Mission which is a key component for us as we look forward into the next decade. Take a look at it, let me know what you think!

So yes, General Synod is happening and I'm enjoying it. It is tiring but so very interesting. Lots of laughter, lots of joy, and lots of memories! And the people I am meeting here are amazing... I'm enjoying conversation and meeting people from all over.

If you are interested in General Synod at all check out www.anglican.ca - you can even watch the proceedings live... check it out! (Hint: Look at the agenda and plan to watch the part that might be of great interest to you!!)

I am sure I could share more... but sleep is calling my name!

Sunday - New Church Experience

I had full plans to write last night... but ended up taking a nap around 7pm which ended up with me getting up at midnight to put on pajamas then heading back to bed. Yes, I was tired!

So I woke up on Sunday to the view of fog... lots and lots of fog. By the time I got down to the dining room for breakfast the rain was coming down hard and fast. We then got ready for church (three other member of PWRDF Youth Council were still staying in the residence) and headed outside. The rain had slowed down but was still dripping down from the sky. You need to know at this point that I definitely did not pack my rain coat... why you ask? Well, no one told me to - I know, I'm going to a strange city for seventeen days and you think that I am expecting only nice weather... of course I am! Isn't it spring in Halifax? Oh - Spring means rain? Right, I forgot about that. And I should have made the connection between being on the coast and rain? Right, well that was the last think I was thinking about!

Anyway, we made it halfway to church then it started to poor again so we got in a cab!

(Thank goodness!) We ended up early to church, which was fine - we sat and listened to the choir then morning prayer started. The service itself began at 10:30am, it was a great service... my first BCP service so it was new and interesting. I don't think that I would ever decide to always attend a BCP service, but it was a great experience. There were definitely a few things that surprised me, a few times I had no idea what was going on. And the number of children and young families who were there absolutely amazed me! I don't think I have actually ever been to a parish with that many children present at the Eucharist service! The church is also round - I know, cool hey?

We headed back to residence to get changed then Beth and I went down to the water in hopes to go on the pirate tour... but we were informed that because of the rain the tour was not running but the Harbour Hopper still was going. So we took our chances and went on the Harbour Hopper... the exact thing we laughed at all day each time it went by us the day before! The Harbour Hopper is an amphibious vehicle that was built in the early 1960's for military purposes and has now been transformed into a tour bus/boat. Yep, you read that correctly! We got on the Harbour Hopper and it drove us through the downtown streets of Halifax and we got to learn a lot of really cool history then it drove into the ocean, turned into a boat, and we learned about the harbour! It was great... a bit crazy... but great!

After that we had lunch... I said goodbye to Beth who was heading back to Ottawa... and I toured around a bit more, and started on my way home. I wouldn't say I got lost, but I also wouldn't say I totally knew where I was headed. Eventually I looked up, saw the tall residence building I was staying in, and headed in that direction - and eventually recognized a few streets and landmarks (meditation house, odd shaped shrub-like thing!) and got back to St. Mary's!! Then I ended up laying down and sleeping, and sleeping some more!

Fear Factor!

Yep, it was Fear Factor week at youth group on Friday, all I can say is gross and ew! Did I participate, nope; did I leave the room at times in fear of vomiting, yep! I still can't believe what some of them ate, it amazed me. There were the ones who ate nothing, or who smelled it and ran away, and in the end it was lots of fun. We had spam, roasted eel (I'm told it tastes like smoked salmon...), raw eggs, clams, escargot, liver sausage, curry paste on crackers, curried mustard leaves (looks like runny green stuff...), and a blended up Happy Meal from McDonalds.  I think there were at least two people who got it all down, personally it all scared me. I don't think we'll need to do this event for a few more years, after all, too much of a good thing is never good! :o)

We had a youth service on Sunday evening, it also happened to be my first service as a Lay Minister of Word and Sacrament. It went really well, the youth did the readings, prayers of the people, part of the sermon, the songs, and helped with communion. It was so nice to have so many young people with us for the evening, and since I'm still young... us young people

did it all! I didn't freak out like I anticipated I would, we let it be what it was, and had a joyous time together. Being the one leading the service and standing behind the altar triggered a feeling of fascination within me, it was being a part of the service in a different way. (Picture of the Fear Factor survivors ----->)

The sun has been shinning over the last few days, I think spring might actually be on its way, I'm so excited! Although I'm starting to see grey clouds and some wind once again, I can only hope that it blow right over. Well, rain is nice for a short period of time... 

I am entering the last three weeks of school and then exams, I can't wait to be done, but at the same time realize how many assignments there still is to finish, including a ten page research paper on "teens and sex" that must be finished before I leave for the weekend. I'm off to Winnipeg for the Primates World Relief and Development Funds Youth Council meeting this weekend, hopefully it's not too cold, and hopefully I don't get lost. (If you don't hear from me for awhile please come find me!)

I know, it's been awhile!

I know, it's been awhile since I've written. My semester is quickly coming to an end, five more weeks to go. Although that is incredibly exciting there is still the matter of the four tests, four papers, two journals, two oral presentations, and two take-home exams to complete. But once that is all finished, excitement will brew even quicker... then summer!!

So, what have I been up to these last few weeks? I had a BCYAYM Council meeting in Vancouver. It was a great meeting, not too much work to do coming out of it, and it was great to see everyone again. We went skating as our group activity over the weekend, I haven't skated since grade four, but I managed to stay on my feet and had a ton of fun. Next year I'll have to do some youth skating events... its was just that much fun! Who knew it would be so enjoyable?!? The church service we went to was great, there were a few surprises though, like sitting down during the Eucharistic Prayers, I have never done that before. And yet when we noticed that we were the only ones still standing we quickly took our seats. The other thing that got me was that the children never came back for communion, which surprised me. It was an amazing church building though and really nice people, I have totally fell in love with the nursery (we got to sleep in it... yep, air mattresses and sleeping bags...) and the Sunday school rooms had some of the neatest murals on them. 

We had our Annual General Meeting probably about a month ago now at St. Hilda's, it went well. I have landed myself the position of Warden for the parish, not totally sure how that happened, but it is quite an honor to have so many believing that I am capable to carry it out. Other than that there were not too many surprises. Still doing what I normally do, I have a "new" batch of Sunday school teachers which is very exciting for me, I've taught it for seven years and the program needed some fresh minds and ideas. So, now I just coordinate it, make sure there is someone there each week, all the supplies are around, ect... And I love it, it also means I get to sit in the pew for the whole service!!

I was took a course that the Cathedral in Kamloops offered for six weeks, "I'm An Anglican! So What?" I really enjoyed it, and all the speakers were amazing. I learned a lot of the "little things." Those things you always wonder but never ask - yeah some of them actually have answers now!

I also went to my first Ash Wednesday service. We never had them in Savona, or if we did I they were held during the day and I was in school. This year I went to the evening service at the Cathedral, it was very powerful and made me think a lot, which is always good. I was a bit nervous going just because I had no idea what to expect at the service. But it ended up being really great and I'll probably be at all future Ash Wednesday services. That brings up to the topic of Lent. This year I decided to give up television. And not that I watch a whole lot of it, but I often have it on as background noise, or sit between classes and watch something so my brian doesn't need to think much. Well, now my spare time is filled with reading books, which is great, and I'm going to bed much earlier because I'm so exhausted, my brain now never stops comprehending. I can't wait for all the snow to melt and the world to dry so I can go on a few walks in the hills beyond residence. 

I think that is pretty much all that has been going on in my end of the world and in my life. March is looking fruitfully busy. APCI is nominating a new bishop this Saturday, I am still in the reflecting process of who I am voting for, but I'm excited to find out who it will be. March 13-15th I am at Sorrento Centre doing a Lenten Silent Spring Retreat, which I am extremely excited to be apart of, not totally sure what to expect, but I believe it will be a good experience. March 22nd the youth are doing the church service, and I am doing my first service as a Lay Minister of Word and Sacrament, a service of reserved sacrament. It's exciting, not the easiest scripture to have youth reflect on, but I'm sure once I read it all through a few more times some brilliant idea will come to me. Then at the end of the month (March 27-29th) I am in Winnipeg at a meeting of the PWRDF Youth Council. It is amazing how quickly March will go by, I'm afraid that if I blink it will all be gone. :o)